


Praise me to make me lose myself

by Blobfish_Virus, Skrolan



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Praise Kink, Rough Sex, Sub Crowley, Wing Kink, dom aziraphale
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-01
Updated: 2019-08-01
Packaged: 2020-07-28 09:15:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20061607
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blobfish_Virus/pseuds/Blobfish_Virus, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skrolan/pseuds/Skrolan
Summary: This story is a part of a larger story my friend and I are currently still writing and we thought it would be a good idea to post it as a standalone thing as well. If you are interested in reading the whole then you can go and do that, not all of it will be porn though.Hope you enjoy it.





	Praise me to make me lose myself

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Ineffable Husbands](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19741786) by [Blobfish_Virus](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blobfish_Virus/pseuds/Blobfish_Virus), [Skrolan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skrolan/pseuds/Skrolan). 

It didn't mean much for them to be alone. They had been for so long already but this felt different. Not the same as the quiet evenings they had spent together or even when they were celebrating that the world hadn't ended; this was so much more than that. This was the type of situation when you had no clue about any possible outcomes but you didn't feel threatened or afraid of what would happen.

Simply, it was a situation he craved to see the outcomes to without letting it show too much.

"Shadwell."

Crowley let out a sharp laugh and made a wide handgesture.

"Who actually would have thought that our agent turned out to be the same. The same dunce. When did you come in contact with fanatic witch hunters though? I always thought you wouldn't support someone who goes around yelling that we should set people on fire."

He flashed Aziraphale a grin and leaned against the backrest, swirling the wine around a little in his glass.

"Quite the coincidence, yes."

Aziraphale took a sip before he continued:

"I am not believing in burning anyone. I hired him for the purpose of having someone with the knowledge of supernatural phenomenon on earth. I didn't know by that time that he was as clueless as everyone else."

"Oh he is stupid, alright. But he was stupid enough to take such jobs. And he was dependant on me financially so it was pretty easy."

"It is a bit sad though. That poor man went crazy over it and eventually ended up alone to most parts. Hopefully it will go better for him now."

Crowley watched the wine and took another few sips. Raising an eyebrow he looked back at the angel.

"Do you want to keep standing forever?"

Slightly confused Aziraphale looked at him before he realized he was still standing in front of him and laughed it off.

"I don't see a point in why it would matter if I'd keep standing or not but if it bothers you that much-"

He sat down next to him. Not like usual on the other end of the sofa but right next to him, no trace of personal space in sight.

"Better?"

Flinching at the sudden closeness he spilled his wine on the sofa and cursed. Wiping at it he quickly miracled it away but he needed to refill his drink now. So he stood up, walked over to get the bottle, filled his glass back up and walked with both things in his hands back to the sofa but sat down a few inches further away from the angel so his mind wouldn't short circuit.

"_Don'tjustsitdownthereyouidiot_", he grumbled and downed more wine, careful to not look at him to show the red hue on his cheeks.

"Right, sorry."

A little disappointed he emptied his glass and held it out to Crowley, silently asking for a refill. That didn't quite go as he thought it would, best keep his distance and let Crowley do the first moves then.

He had only wanted to turn around and refill the glass but when he saw expression on the angel's face he felt guilty.

"Fuck, alright-", he mumbled and scooted back over to the other, silently grabbing his hand with the glass to pull him closer and refill.

Letting him go again he placed the bottle on the ground and shifted around, rasing his glass toward's Aziraphale for a toast.

"To our...uh, I don't know..."

He fumbled around with the words for a moment before he managed to look the angel in the eyes and bring out the words.

"Can I call you my uh…", he cleared his throat before he continued, a little quieter: "Lover now?"

He wanted to protest about him moving over, that he didn't need to do anything he didn't want to. The closeness made his complaints die in his throat though as he took his hand, even if it just was to refill the glass.

The instant the innocent question was thrown out there he smiled fondly at him.

"Of course you can."

At the uncertainty of what to toast to he thought for a moment until he got an idea, raising his glass.

"How about we toast to another 6000 years good years that we will, this time, officially spend together?"

"To another 6000 years, together", he repeated and pushed his glass against the others before retreating and downing it, shaking his head at the bitter taste.

Still a bad idea to drink wine all at once.

"Angel."

He flashed him a smile and got the bottle to fill his glass up once more. After all, what better to celebrate than after 6000 damned years finally getting together with the love of his life.

It still felt absolutely surreal and he was sure that if he'd go to sleep, when he'd wake up, he'd be thinking that this was all a dream. After all he had yelled at Aziraphale and pushed him away and ran off and after so much time of suffering silently? It was just so sudden. Though that didn‘t mean that it felt less good.

The angel shook his head at the way Crowley emptied the glass in one go. He'd never understand how he couldn't take it slow and enjoy the moment but he wasn't one to judge.

Relaxed he sipped on his drink and couldn't help but to gaze at him lovingly. There wasn't a need to hide any kind of affection and he wouldn't hide it unless it didn't feel right.

For a moment the silence became unbearably heavy almost. None of them knew what to talk about or when to speak, it was just...new. A new kind of situation none of them had ever been in. And there was so much to talk about, but nothing really seemed appropiate in the moment.

So after a while of silent drinking Crowley finally gathered enough courage to speak up again.

"I don't care for what reason, but don't ever let others touch your wings again."

He gave Aziraphale a pouty look.

He had expected a lot of things they could talk about, this wasn't one of them.

"You make it sound like I do that more often, I only did it to help you get your body back."

He shifted to put the, by now, empty glass on the ground next to the sofa to have it out of the way.

„Why does it bother you so much? It wasn't that big of a deal, really. Judging by what was going on at the time it was an appropriate thing to do."

"No it wasn't! You let a child touch it with their...their grimy and slimy hands full of dirt and bugs and fleas! You can't sully your wings like that! You're an angel!"

Making a gesture towards his shoulders the demon grimaced as he imagined it.

"No matter what, don't let anyone touch your wings like that! What if they had gotten something on it? Or had snapped a feather?? Didn't you even rip a feather out and give it to them? Don't EVER do that again!"

He emptied his glass in one go and put it away as well, looking at Aziraphale with a kind of furious and worried expression.

"Crowley..."

He wasn't sure if to be irritated by how furious Crowley was over this or if he should feel touched due to the worry over something ruining his wings. He settled for both. On one side it was sweet to have someone worrying but on the other he was old enough to know himself what was best.

"Dear, everything is fine. It wasn't that big of a deal. I know how to take care of my wings to keep them clean and looking the same as always. One feather less won't be the death of me. If you really insist that I won't let anyone touch them again, I suppose I won't do it anymore unless absolutely necessary, ok?"

He nodded but still looked a little unconvinced.

"Show me."

Despite him not seeing a need to he extended his wings, sighing softly as the tensions of keeping them cramped up and hidden left.

"See? They are fine, no damage done by the kid."

Crowley could swear that if he wouldn't be wearing his sunglasses, the bright white colour of the angel's wings would have blinded him. They were pure and white and looked so very soft. Now that he thought about it, it had been nearly 6000 years since he had last seen Aziraphale's wings up close. Armageddon didn't count and neither did when he had been revived by Adam, he hadn't had the time to focus on that then.

They were perfect. Aziraphale must have spent a lot of time caring for them and nurturing them to keep them in such a perfect state.

Unlike him.

His wings were grimy and there was probably still ash from falling on them since he had never again bothered to clean them. Not since the revolte.

And the scent. He was oversensitive to smells either way but this was just...amazing. From the moment they were unfolded the air tasted fluffy and cloudy and sweet. Like his angel did too. A true angel's scent.

The other probably couldn't smell it, but he did all the more. And it made him fidgety and squirming around in his seat as he stared at them, admiring the perfect beauty.

All the while he let Crowley stare all the wanted, only having to break eye contact to him every now and then. It wasn't anything too special to show, just a normal pair of wings but maybe that had been the point.

To him his wings were nothing special, he had had them for centuries and only paid much mind to them when it was time to clean them. For Crowley that must have been something entirely different.

The demon had lost his pearly white wings when he fell. When he thought back to their first meeting the could remember the smell of burnt feathers, the tiniest hint of a fiery scent and that, after the shock of having a demon come up and talk to him, he thought, that under what was left of his fall, his charcoal black wings had to look beautiful too.

"Can I see yours too?", he caught himself asking without thinking much of it.

Needing a moment to register being talked to he backed off a little and looked around the room as if to search for the one Aziraphale was talking to.

"Mine?"

He felt his heart beating faster as anxiety took him over. His wings were ugly. The proof that he had fallen and he had neglected them for centuries.

"You wouldn't wanna see mine. They're black and reek and feel weird, as that boy stated before. You'd be better off not seeing them."

"They are a part of you I'd love to see as well, no matter how they look like. I still love everything about you, including them."

He reached out to him, taking his hands in his with a gentle squeeze.

„...Unless you are too ashamed of them to show me, in that case I'd understand if you want to keep them tucked away."

"I-"

He bit his lip and sighed. The gentle grip in which his hands were held made him melt though he was very unsure about it. Still, he extended his wings with a guilty look.

They felt...weird. The feathers were stuck together and dirty and some of them lay in the wrong places from using them to fly. It was really embarrassing to show them while in front of him there were those beautiful ones.

Crowley didn't even dare to say anything, only gripped onto the other, his gaze fixed on the sofa and his wings trembling as they felt too heavy and out of place.

"Oh dear", were the first words that came to him as he inspected the wings with his eyes.

From what he could tell, they weren't something that needed to be hidden if they were getting taken care of properly. They were neither horribly out of place nor crooked, just dirty and unkempt.

Tearing his eyes away from the demon's wings to focus on his face he freed one of his hands to use it to lift his gaze.

"When was the last time you have cleaned them?"

The demon bit his lips, trying his best to still avoid having to look the angel in the eyes. It felt really stupid talking about that now.

"A few days before I fell", he admitted with a forced smile, pushing his wings as close to his body as he could so they wouldn't use up space or accidentally spread around dirt and dust. He wouldn't be surprised if some of his feathers would come loose too.

That explained a lot. There were centuries worth of ashes and grime on them, no wonder he didn't like to show them off.

Slowly he let go of his head and reached for one of his wings to run his hand through it, already feeling some of the ashes falling out of it and a whole lot more that was covering his hand when he pulled it back.

Their wings must be a sensitive subjects to demons. He didn't know many but besides Crowley showing them rarely, he had never seen another one use them.

"This needs to change now. I can't let you keep your wings like this for much longer", he declared and got up.

"We need to do something about them now."

Crowley had been about to apologize when he saw not only the other's hand but also the black spots he left on the sofa and floor and carpet, when the angel already stood up and seemed ready to change that.

"What?"

He had expected to be scolded for not taking care of them, or had expected to be met with disgust at his wings. But what he met was just...something that felt like worry and determination to clean them. Well, Aziraphale was very cleanly after all.

The angel beckoned him to follow him upstairs to the bathroom.

"We need to get them cleaned up. I can promise you that you will feel better afterwards."

Sure, he couldn't promise that but he was pretty sure that at least some weight would be lifted off of his shoulders, quite literally, and while that wasn't too much, it was a start.

"But-"

He wanted to complain about it, that it shouldn't be his job to do it but he just shut up and followed him, the pure, white wings always in his face, right in front of him.

He could touch them, maybe would have even if he wouldn't feel so anxious about his own. So instead he just got swayed by the scent and waited for the angel to lead him.

Shushing him he took his hand and dragged him along up the stairs, past Pollution's room and into the bathroom that was big enough that they could spread out their wings to full extent.

Once inside he sealed the door shut with a little miracle before letting go of the demon to miracle a stool in front of the bathtub.

"Now, I think it would be a good idea for you to take off your shirt so it won't get wet and dirty. Then, please take a seat there", he pointed at the stool as he pulled back his sleeves before going to grab a few more things.

"My-?"

Yeah, right. Taking his shirt off.

"You sure it won't work while wearing it", he asked a little hesitant while he slowly walked over to the stool, anxiously watching the angel.

"You could keep it on but I don't know if it's too pleasant to have it sticking to you until I'm done.“

He came back over to him, placing each item on the floor next to them.

"Do whatever is most comfortable for you."

Turning bright red he gritted his teeth and quickly slipped out of his shirt, letting it fall on the floor a bit away from him together with his tie. Sitting down he crouched his upper body a little so he didn't feel as visible and vulnerable.

Pushing his face into his hands he spread his wings just slightly, dirt crumbling off and ash sprinkling down, a feather loosening and sauntering downwards.

Lucky for him he didn't have much feel in his wings at the moment, else he would have been ashamed for it.

Wordless he slipped behind him, gently running his hands through his feathers to remove some of the filth that was more easily removable already. After some time of having him very precisely going over each wing to ruffle out little clumps of dirt, he shook off what stuck to his hand.

A shiver shook Crowley's body the first moment when his wings were touched and he clawed into his face to not jump up and fold his wings back together. But he stayed through it, silently pushing his feet down, his wings only flinching once before they just trembled and moved along with the angel's touches.

"Still doing ok?", Aziraphale asked to reassure himself that he wasn't pushing the demon too far already.

"It's fine, keep going", Crowley muttered through his hands, taking a few deep breaths.

There were a lot of factors that made him freak out, but he did his best to stay calm. Well, as calm as he could.

Putting each reaction he pulled from the demon as a natural reaction to not being used to it, the angel didn't make any more comments. Next thing he did was pick up the showerhead and turn on the water, waiting for it to be neither too warm nor too cold, but just good enough to be soothing before he let the water run over his wings.

With touches that were so light that they could barely be registered, he moved the feathers aside to make sure that every little part of his wings got wet. It was quite the effort to keep his touches light to prevent him pulling out any feathers and also work all the way through Crowley's massive wings, but he was patient.

The fact that he took his time might have made sure that he covered every part of them, but it also meant he took double the time before he first dropped the showerhead into the tub to pick up the soap. Just like with getting them wet he took his sweet time massaging through the feathers to get them soaped up. Once that was out of the way he stopped to let it soak in for a few minutes and leaned over the tub to kiss the back of the demon's neck.

"You are doing so good, dear."

Somewhere during the procedure the demon had relaxed enough to slip his hands from his face, groaning subconsciously in pleasure at the soft touches caressing and massaging his wings, softly ruffling through his feathers. It felt like every feather of his got it's own special attention from the angel while it was cleaned.

The trembles and shivers had switched from being due to fear to savouring every touch, and he had started nudging the other's hands every now and then with his wings as encouragment to keep going. So as he felt the hands leaving him he let out a whine and was about to complain as the other's lips were pressed onto his neck.

He flinched and let out a surprised hiss, arching his back and pushing himself closer into the angel. He wasn't nice, he wasn't good, he wasn't any of that. But since hell had let him loose he had stopped freaking out at it. And while he did disagree and deny it every time, he couldn't deny the fluttery feeling he got when he was praised.

It felt so...nice and good and made him eager for more. As a response he moaned quietly and threw his head back, closing his eyes.

The angel had spent the time waiting while letting his fingers glide up and down the demon's back, rubbing the flesh where his wings connected to his body and went back to work after giving him another quick kiss to his back.

Picking up the showerhead again he washed out the already slightly dried in soap, watching the blackened water going down the drain. He kept up his work until the only thing that came dripping down Crowley's wings was clean water.

For a second he let the excess water drip back into the tub as he went to grab a blow dryer and set it to the lowest setting to help the drying process in a way that would not damage the now soft feathers in the least.

A lot of time had passed since they had entered the bathroom, but the result was more than pleasing. When the feathers were completely dry, all he still did was smooth each feather down to lay perfect as it should, which didn't take as long as it should have since he had already started on one wing while he had been still drying the other.

By the time Aziraphale was fully done it was dark outside, but that didn't matter. What mattered was that Crowley's wings were spotless clean.

Experimentally he broadly ran his hand through the feathers and nodded to himself. None of them had the same feel of being stiff and sticky anymore; they all felt soft and smelt of fresh water and the soap he had used.

"I believe my job is done. They look even better than I had imagined, if I'm honest. I'm so glad you let me do this. They look stunning now. You should have kept them clean all the time. What a shame that you kept this beauty hidden!"

He rambled on as he twirled a feather around his finger: "Simply gorgeous."

The demon had kept as still as he could all the while letting out occasional deep breaths, moans or whines at the soft handling he received. It was amazing.

Once his wings were cleaned it felt like a huge weight had fallen of him. Not only the weight of his dirty wings but a part of his fall. It felt like a part of himself that he had lost when he had been cast out, had been redeemed, had been fixed.

He didn't smell charcoal and flames anymore and the stench of rotting dirt, but only a nice smell of shampoo and soap and water and the angel. Like this he felt like he could finally overcome the pain of being burnt alive, of feeling his wings being torn at and crumbling to pieces.

His wings, tormented and ugly, felt nice and even...beautiful.

It felt like he could maybe even start to be proud of them. Be proud of the charcoal wings that were proof of his rebellion. He could feel every inch of them clearly and oversensitively, finally felt them again after the fall had numbed and dirtied them.

It was his fault for never trying to get over it, but even if he had cleaned them himself, he didn't think it would have turned out the same. It was the mixture of the gentle touches, the soft praises and the amazement radiating off of his angel that made him feel strong; that made him feel like he could do anything, feel like he was ready to move on.

A hunger rose inside of him, a deep longing to keep this feeling, to keep this moment. Every time he was praised on the beauty of his wings he felt tingly and felt like giving in, giving everything he was and owned to the angel.

"Are they really that beautiful?", he managed to utter quietly, flapping his wings slightly and carefully, turning his head to look at Aziraphale with a longing and lost expression on his face.

"They are. I always knew that you were hiding something from me, and today I discovered what I was missing out on. The wait was truly worth it."

Aziraphale walked around the tub to sit down on the floor by his side, eyes shifting from the wings to the demon's face. He couldn't help but smile at the new expression on his partner's face and hoped he could keep it for as long as possible.

All of Crowley was beautiful, even before he had thought about loving him he had thought he had been beautiful, and this...THIS was all he had ever hoped for to see in his life. He would have fallen just to get this sight for himself.

Almost immediately when Aziraphale sat down next to him the demon wrapped his wing around the other and pulled him closer into a tight hug protected by it, pushing his lips onto the angel's.

He didn't know how he should thank him for all this. Frankly speaking, he couldn't thank him for all this. Because no matter how he would try to phrase it, there was no way to express how much this helped him, and how much this meant for him. So he only followed his instincts, and his instincts told him to be as close to the angel as he possibly could.

Being suddenly pulled closer was surprising enough, but feeling Crowley's lips on his again, this time it not being him who started the kiss, was a whole different thing. Paired with the warmth of the demon's body against his, and being surrounded by his wings, left him feeling even better.

After the surprise faded Aziraphale threw his arms around his demon and kissed him back lovingly, giving him the same amount of love back as he was giving him in this moment.

The demon basically melted into the touch and let Aziraphale take the lead almost immediately when he responded to the kiss. His mind was being flooded and felt all cloudy and he couldn't form a coherent thought or a sentence.

"Wings", he whispered into the kiss while he cupped the angel's face, running his hands up into his hair where he started twirling around the curls and pushing him further against himself that way.

"What about them, dear?", the angel asked when he pulled back to take a breath before going back to pushing their lips together. Not only was the demon's unique taste something that could get him addicted, the unusual soft touches were having an effect on him too.

A whine escaped Crowley and he instinctively gripped onto Aziraphale a little stronger, clinging to him without really hurting him.

"Your wings", he somehow managed to voice, desperately trying to prolong this moment, though he felt his breath giving out.

This time when he pulled away Aziraphale refrained from going back to kissing him, just pressed their foreheads together to enjoy the effect the kiss left.

"I think you need to be more specific."

He slid his hands from his back to his sides, rubbing small circles into them.

By now Crowley was panting to regain his breath and gave Aziraphale a bit of a lost look. "Your wings."

His grip weakened and he slid his hands down to his back where he rubbed over the part where they connected to the others body. Or would, if the angel hadn't folded them back together and hid them before to make it easier to work.

"I want...to touch your wings."

He was longing for this, he wanted this more than anything else, though it made him embarrassed to say it out loud.

"You want to touch them?"

Aziraphale raised a brow. "Weren't you saying that no one should touch them?"

Flashing him a smug smile he planted a kiss to his chin and pulled away a bit further to have him fully on display.

The demon looked guilty as the angel said that and looked to the ground, retreating his wings to himself. "I'm sorry-"

You could compare him to a lost puppy how he sat there, guiltily keeping his head hanging low and biting his lips.

"Please", he begged after a moment, looking up at the angel again.

"I just didn't want anyone else...touching you", he admitted sheepishly.

"Selfish, are we? I suppose since you helped me so many times already you deserve this. Lucky for you that I love you."

Without hesitation the angel extended his wings, folding them around his lover so he could reach them with more ease.

"Ah..."

In a matter of seconds Crowley was surrounded by that angelic smell again. This time only it engulfed him, and it was heavy enough that it blocked all of his senses off and instead filled it with only them.

With trembling hands he brushed against the feathers, twirling them around his fingers carefully. For him it was like catnip to a cat; it intoxicated him. With one miracle his glasses were gone and he pushed his face into the soft feathers with a clouded expression, nuzzling them and taking deep breaths. They were even softer than they looked, made him feel like he was diving in clouds.

Shifting closer to the angel he put his head on his shoulder, breathing heavily into his ear for a moment, his self control gone to pieces, before he pushed his face into the wings once more, experimentally licking over one of the feathers with a forked tongue.

It tasted sweet, and considering his sensitive snakelike tongue, the sensations were doubled and made him let out soft whines and moans at the pleasure.

A shiver ran down the angel's spine at the sensation of having Crowley running his tongue over the insides of his wings. He knew fully well about all the pleasures humans were capable of experiencing, this could be described as something close to it yet better. He'd gladly indulge in it, let the squirming demon do as he pleased, but he had other plans for now.

He let it continue to have him rubbing himself against him and practically drooling over his wings, but eventually grabbed him to pull him close and snapped his fingers to get them off of the tiles. If his Crowley wanted this, his Crowley wouldn't only get to sit there and push his face into him. Oh no, he deserved more.

From the bathroom he miracled them into the bedroom they would be sharing every now and then, and held the demon with his back pressed to his chest in his lap, head resting on his shoulder as he showered it in tiny kisses while watching him.

In his daze the demon only half realized that the environment had changed; it mattered to him more that he had been pulled off his precious wings. But it was compensated for when he felt the kisses, felt them leaving tingly spots on his skin.

Arching his back towards the angel he let out a loud and happy hiss, eyes unfocused while he retreated his wings a little more to himself so it was easier on the other to hold him.

"Aziraphale-", he breathed out, his hands hopelessly trying to grab onto the wings again but slipping off and dropping onto Aziraphale's legs where they gripped tightly onto him, his whole body twitching.

Noticing the helplessness when Crowley did his best to grab back onto his wings, the angel mercifully helped him out by bringing them back closer to him. Who knew he could be so desperate for him after spending the longest time they had been knowing each other pining.

In a way it was cute. The usual bitchy demon, that acted as if he was the baddest of the bad, melted into the lightest touches he provided him with.

Taking in a deep breath of Crowley's scent he began to trail the kisses further up to his neck, all the while letting his hands glide over his chest, one staying rather up to also run his fingers over his throat, while the other dipped lower, scraping his nails over his thigh.

One hand left at the angel's thigh, Crowley quickly grabbed onto the others wings again once they were close, pushing past the feathers to rub the base, then run his fingers along the bones underneath before returning to play with the feathers.

Once he felt the hand on his leg he froze a little. It was one thing to wish to do it with him, it was a whole other thing if it would actually come to it.

Groaning in anticipation he pulled one of the wings in closer, carefully nibbling along the bone before he started making his way down, kissing the feathers and occasionally playing with one by twirling his tongue around it. It felt even better with Aziraphale's hand stroking his throat, a slight pressure at his adam's apple elevating the pleasure.

The way Crowley changed actions to toy with him instead of being completely lost in drowning in the heavenly scent of this wings, had been unexpected. Having not seen it coming his reply to the action was for him to run his hand from his thigh to his lower stomach, fingers dipping under his waistband and went to apply pressure to push him further down onto him.

He wasn't particularly doing much in terms of getting himself riled up over this, but if Crowley was going to keep up his ministration like that, Aziraphale would most definitely want him to feel what he did to him.

A confused noise escaped Crowley's throat and he wipped his head around, mouth hanging open while he gave the angel a bit of a puzzled look at him being pushed down. His pupils were widened for being slits and he tilted his head to the side a little, hands sliding away from the spots they rested on to cup Aziraphale's face and pull him into a kiss.

Though the wings alone were amazing to drown in, there was starting to be something else that caught his attention too with the angel slowly going further down.

After being pulled into the kiss the hand that had been used to lazily run his fingers over his throat, with the occasional pressing down, wandered up to grab his face. Even if the demon tried to go and be leading the kiss, Aziraphale wanted to have something that still indicated of who was really leading who in this.

Through half lidded eyes he observed the demon's every move, not missing a single thing. Too soon the kiss got too stale for his liking though, and he instead pulled away to hold his mouth open with the fingers that were gripping onto the sides of his face to shove his tongue in his mouth.

Crowley had wanted to complain at first about the loss of contact, but only let out a strangled noise when the angel pushed against him again. Though he was worried about his tongue and teeth, he hoped it wouldn't bother the angel too much as he twirled his tongue around the other's and teased him, trying to mock him into leading further.

He ran his hands down to the angel's chest where he gripped onto him, desperately trying to feel him through the clothes, which he wouldn't even try to get off. He knew he couldn't. Instead he tried to edge the angel on further by grinding his hips slightly against him and folding his wings together completely so there was no space left between them.

The desperation paired with the undeniable want to feel one another to more parts than rubbing up against clothes that provided a, for the moment, impenetrable barrier, gave Aziraphale an even stronger urge to possess.

The feeling didn't pop up all of the sudden, it had always been there. Back then it had been weak, a tiny spark that had turned into a forest fire ever since Crowley had told him about the incident at the brothel.

He was his, his alone. If anyone would dare to try to get between them, they could only pray to a higher authoritiy that a miracle could save them.

But for now he deemed Crowley grinding his hips down on him enough to satisfy, for now. It gave him more time to focus on tangling up his tongue with that snake's one anyway, occasionally grazing his teeth over his tongue just to feel the sharpness of them, knowing fully well what caused them to grow the way they were.

"_Angel-_" Crowley could barely speak, though not only due to his mouth being occupied with something else.

Staying like this the thought crossed his mind that what happened at the brothel could have even been fine, if it had been Aziraphale and not a stranger doing it to him. Though, right now, he way preferred the gentleness with which he was edged on, a hint of posessiveness accompanying it. His hands came to a halt at the shirt's buttons and he tugged at them weakly while he slowly ran out of breath.

At the weak call from his lover, Aziraphale pulled back from him and removed his hand from his head to let it drop on his thigh, his thumb rubbing over the fabric.

"Am I going too fast for you?", he smiled and allowed himself to watch him tugging at his clothes in an attempt to get him to take them off, all the while he dropped his head on his shoulder to tone it down just slightly as he mouthed lazily on his neck, nibbling and sucking on the soft flesh.

At the smug question the demon growled and strengthened the grip on the other for a moment before he let out a silent hiss at the angel leaving a hickey.

"More", he pressed out with his voice breaking, head thrown back and eyes unfocused staring to the ceiling. "_Pleassse_, angel...I beg you."

"More what?", Aziraphale asked innocently and licked over the fresh mark once more before straightening his back to sit upright and look him dead in the eyes.

Crowley flinched as he felt the other's tongue on the sensitive spot and looked at him in his haze. The angel was mocking and teasing him on purpose, and now he didn't know how to voice his thoughts. It was embarrassing, to say the least.

Turning around fully he sat back down on Aziraphale's lap and spread his wings just a little again once they weren't in the other's face anymore since they were chest to chest.

Flustered he bit his lip, which resulted in a little droplet of blood since he had forgotten about his pointy teeth. Softly touching the hickey he pressed his fingers down on it, groaning at the slight pain and giving the other a pouty look, brushing against his hand with his free one.

"I want you to touch me..." Quietly he added a 'more' behind the sentence as he arched his back a little to give the angel a better view.

"Touch you?", Aziraphale repeated and tilted his head to the side a tad bit.

"How do you want me to touch you?"

The angel's hands, that had still been resting on his lover's lower body, dropped to his sides, but not for long since he much rather let them run from his hands up his arms and to his chest, were he let them rest again for a second.

Pretending to think about if he was going to give in to the request or not he gently drummed his fingers on his body.

"If you want me to touch you. Would you want it more like this?"

In a swift movement his hands went to his back, sliding them under his way-too-tight pants to grope him.

"Or more like this?"

One hand slid to his front, fingers just barely grazing him.

The movement caught Crowley off guard and he perched up with a whine, unsure if he should buck his hips further into the one, or the other hand. "I-"

Unable to bear with the other's gaze he quickly pushed himself towards him, hiding his face back in his wings as best he could.

"Unfair-", he muttered into the feathers and twitched slightly in a hopeless try to edge him on and receive the pleasure he was teased with. He threw his hands around his neck and grabbed into the feathers and his back for halt.

"Both...", was the only thing he could breathe out as an answer.

He wanted and needed both of it, he couldn't decide on it. Especially not when his mind was mush and in a daze like now. It was just impossible.

"As you wish."

The angel pulled his hand to himself just to have them working on getting Crowley's pants off. The thought of showing the demon who was boss and to tease further lingered in his mind for some time longer, but eventually he agreed with himself that he had to be nice to him now.

With little to no difficulty, thanks to some magic, it didn't provide to be much of a challenge to undress the demon. When he felt like he had taken in enough details about how his mainly naked body looked like pressed up to Aziraphale's still clothed one, which gave him another confidence boost, he pressed his fingers to his lips to wordlessly make them wet for himself.

Obediently the demon opened his mouth and pressed his tongue up against the fingers, teasingly nudging them a few times before he closed his mouth and started sucking ever so slightly, teeth scraping against them and his tongue teasingly wrapping around them.

It felt good to finally get his pants off since they seemed to have grown tighter by the minute, though at the same it made him anxious and squirmy under the angel's gaze.

He wanted this bad, but there still was a little voice in his head, screaming insecurities into the mix of pleasure and lust and haziness, right from the darkest place of his mind. Though he did try his best to not make it apparent. Only his hands started trembling a little and he gripped tighter onto him to have stabilization.

Aziraphale could sense it, the shift in how Crowley was holding it together. It might not have been a big change, but in this moment any sorts of insecurities and doubts weren't welcome.

With his unoccupied hand Aziraphale carefully pried one of the demon's hands away from him to take it into his own. His gaze softened as he first leaned in to place a small kiss to the corner of his mouth, then to his cheek and stopped at his wrist, never having taken his eyes off of him.

"You are quite the sight. I'm so very lucky to be spoiled with having you all for my own."

He planted another kiss to his wrist before moving up a little to the inside of his hand.

"They all must be jealous of you."

Gently he pressed down on the demon's tongue, stroking it as it still sucked on him, all the while accompanying his words with more kisses.

"My handsome, gorgeous, stunning, perfect, sweet, breathtaking love of my life."

Crowley wanted to say 'No, it's not true', but out came only a few muffled words and a desperate whine as he pushed against the fingers in his mouth, shuddering under every single touch as the words sparked something deep inside him that soon turned into a burning flame, eating at his torn mind and softening his gaze into a lustful longing for the kind words and the gentle touches that left him feeling wanted and special and precious to no believes.

And he had never really felt special, not even in heaven where he had felt excluded from the other angels.

His eyes rolled into the back of his head for a second before he closed them, opening his mouth to give the angel a better look at the thin lines of drool that coated his fingers and ran down the corner of his mouth.

He felt his heart beating loudly in his chest and it felt like it had rose to his head as the thumping silenced everything for him to focus on only the soothing voice that lured him in. And the words had went straight to his dick, making him twitch uncomfortably at how the words alone seemed enough to tip him over the edge.

When Crowley opened his mouth to show off his work so far, the angel proudly smiled at him and slowly pulled his hand back.

"What a good boy you are for me, dear. So, so good."

Once he had retreated his hand, the angel let go of Crowley's hand as well, placing it on his back, pressing him forward until there really was no space between Aziraphale's chest and his. Only then did he let his hand slide down further to rest it on his waist.

When he was pulled in even closer until it felt like there couldn't even be air fitting inbetween them anymore, Crowley longingly licked over Azirphale's neck, his hands slipping down from the wings and back into the angel's hair while he showered him with his hot and inconsistent breaths.

"I wannnnt all of you, angel-"

He was whimpering quietly and forcing his words out through the blaze of lust that had put him in a rather feverish state.

"I'll be good for you, angel..._Pleasssse, i'll be good-_"

The demon's voice broke off into whiny, selfish little ramblings he hushed against the other's skin and whispered into his ear. "I love you, I want you…"

"What an impatient little thing you are. For that alone I should make you wait some more."

The words didn't quite match the angel's actions. While he gave him a side glance to watch him drooling over him and clawing at his back, his other hand had joined the one on his waist. Sadly, Aziraphale got lulled in by the whiny declaration of love and used that as an excuse for himself to not keep him waiting too much longer.

Even before he noticed it himself his hands were grabbing at the demon's ass, not doing anything beyond holding him firmly. Nothing to complain about though, his body simply made up for what his mind was still trying to process.

"Spread your legs more. If you want it, then show it to me how much you need me."

A little clumsy Crowley pushed his legs apart and arched his back, turning his head to look down to where he was shifting around to make sure he got it right. He had been rock hard for more than just a while now, and it felt like only the slightest touches or whispers could make him lose it now. Just accidentally brushing against his angel's thigh seemed too mouch and it left his dick throbbing even worse than before, needy and desperate for attention.

He made sure that the demon was fully satisfied with the way he sat, and only then made a move again. Still, when Crowley had settled down he didn't start right away. He took his sweet time to appreciate the way he could feel his want for him, the need the demon gave off in waves to feel him inside and on him.

It was addicting.

Never had he felt anyone lusting over him like this. Mentally getting himself back to the task at hand, he moved his saliva coated fingers to his hole to coat it with the makeshift lubricant without going doing much else besides teasingly pushing at it.

It was absolutely unbearable to feel Aziraphale teasingly rubbing against him, sending little electric waves up Crowley's spine and making him shudder, trying to push himself further down onto the angel's fingers.

"_Assszzziraphale-_"

He twisted his body a little painfully to be able to kind of watch the other's hand as he drew circles around his entrance.

"I can't take thissss, angel, _pleassse_!"

One of his own hands shakily found his way down his body and to his erect dick in a pitiful attempt to get his fair share of pleasure, which Azirphale held right in his reach but still so far away, and it was infuriating and made him feel so powerless and weak, and if he was honest with himself, it riled him up even further.

As Aziraphale saw the demon letting his hand wander down his body with a clear intention of touching himself, he removed his hand from his entrance to swat it away.

"Did I allow you to touch yourself? Because I don't think I have. Maybe it is still too early to allow you to get what you want."

The demon winced as all pleasure was ripped away from him.

"No-"

Quickly he grabbed back onto the angel and pushed his face into his chest.

"I'm ssssorry, angel. I'll be good, I promise i'll be good!"

His voice felt raspy and shaky and he let his tongue loll out, his breathing heavy and feeling surreal with his head spinning like that.

The angel couldn't help but laugh quietly at the reaction he received and rested his head on top of his.

"Of course you will. You don't have much of a choice, now do you?"

What a lovely mess his lover had become, and what an even lovelier mess he'd become so very soon. Without hesitation he moved his hand back to it's previous position and shoved both of the slickened fingers up inside him.

"_Nngh_!" Crowley bit down on his fingers to silence himself once he was entered, though it were only two fingers, nothing too impressive yet. But in the state he was in, two fingers alone made him overheat. The angel was warm and soft, and his words had just the right amount of edge in them to make him go crazy.

He wanted to cry and beg for more, plead for Aziraphale to tip him off again and again, but his words never left his throat, only muffled noises being uttered into the angel's shirt as his drool ran down his fingers and chin and onto the other while he squirmed around.

On normal circumstances Aziraphale would abandon everything he was doing to fix the tiniest specs of dirt on his clothes. Even now when he felt drool soaking them his hand twitched as he was contemplating to do the same, but he couldn't bring himself to.

One look down at the shivering mess told him that it would be way too cruel to stop and think about anything other than to keep him busy. Ignoring what his head screamed at him to do, he curled his fingers and gently, very gently, to not harm him on accident, scraped his nails against his insides as he pushed them in deeper to find his prostate.

When he felt him moving deeper and deeper, pushing against his insides, the demon perched up, shifting around a little to help guide the other. It already sent Crowley's mind flying when the angel only scraped his sensitive spot, and he pushed himself further down, letting go of his fingers to hold onto Aziraphale's shoulders.

The angel continued his ministration for some time and eventually added a third and fourth finger into him to be one-hundred percent sure that he wasn't going to be even in the slightest bit of pain later on. Besides, keeping up pumping his fingers into his lover until he himself deemed him opened up enough was a great opportunity to feel Crowley's hips shuddering when he touched him in the right places, and to feel him grinding down to get more pleasure out of it.

Only a little demonic miracle was keeping Crowley from not coming right that instant when Aziraphale hit his prostate with a little more force, gradually loosening him up. He didn't want to already lose to him, lose to the wonderful way he felt his fingers moving inside him. It wasn't quite making it easier for him though that he held back that way.

A tight knot built up in his stomach and his dick was throbbing and felt like something tight had been wrapped around it. His hips instinctively bucked away a little from the other's fingers due to the oversensitiveness, and he couldn't help but push his dick into Aziraphale's stomach in a hopeless attempt to make it easier on himself since he wasn't allowed to touch himself.

It had quite the opposite effect though and elicited a strangled groan from him when his dick was welcomed by the soft flesh and clothes of the other.

After approximately 10 minutes of continuously finger fucking the demon, Aziraphale pulled them out of him and went over to massage his thighs as he waited for him to calm down a little. Crowley had held back from getting off on Aziraphale dragging it out to get him ready, and the angel couldn't be prouder of the obedience of waiting for him to give him the 'ok'.

"Look at you taking it without giving in to your desires. I couldn't be prouder of you right now."

The angel pried the shivering mess away from himself and laid him down on the sheets to lean over him as he went to loosen up his bowtie.

"Would you like to take a break for a bit, or would you want me to continue right away?"

Crowley let out a sigh when he the pleasure left him since that gave him a quick moment to calm down. With his hands he searched for the pillow under his head to grip into it while his half lidded eyes tried to focus on the angel.

"Continue-", he pressed out while he watched him gradually loosen his clothes, effectively seducing him to a point where he needed to look away for a few seconds before he dared to look back.

Spreading his legs as best he could he bucked his hips up a little and shot him an aroused smile. His black wings were quite the contrast pressed into the white sheets, the soft feathers pressing up against Crowley's overheated body.

"_Pleassssse fuck me...Assszzziraphale_."

"Don't you worry, that's what I had in mind of doing anyways."

Easily the angel could have gotten his clothes off with a single snap of his fingers and could by now be ramming Crowley into the bed. Just as easily he could continue to drag it out, and that thought sounded more pleasant to him, so he sat back upright to remove the layers of clothes he wore one by one. What he didn't have the patience for anymore was to care where his clothes landed, so he carelessly threw them off of the bed to join the few clothing items Crowley had still been wearing.

To keep the demon at least a little busy as he took his time, he ran his hands through his feathers every now and then and rubbed some of them to feel the new softness. The action caused him to take a minute or two longer than needed, he couldn't care less though.

When his clothes were out of the way he let out a content sigh to not be trapped in them anymore, because even if he didn't let it show as much as Crowley did, Aziraphale had gotten just as hard from the demon's wriggling and squirming, and the overall smell that he gave off when being as aroused as he had made him by caressing his body.

It certainly felt good to have his feathers ruffled and played with, but that couldn't make the demon take his eyes off the angel, or his mind, how he stood there, slowly getting rid of his clothes one by one, fully well knowing what he did to the already desperate demon that way.

Since Aziraphale's clothes were in no way as tight as the demon's where he hadn't been noticing too much how he had felt about all this, too lost himself in his own pleasure than to be attentive to the other's. But now that he saw him, saw the other's erection pushing up against his stomach, he had to swallow hard and felt his mouth watering.

He wanted to taste him and feel him and toy with him, but most importantly, he wanted that damn angel inside of him already. And he could, and would beg for it as often and as long as he needed, as the angel wanted to hear it. He would do anything for him, and he knew that his lover was fully aware of that.

"Angel- hurry-"

He let out the breath he had held and moved one of his hands down to slightly scissor open his entrance. The demon nearly sobbed now, his sole attention focusing on how absolutely perfect and beautiful Aziraphale looked.

"I beg you, _pleassse--_"

In a matter of seconds Aziraphale took his position between the demon's spread legs and helped him keeping them spread by grabbing at his thighs. He hadn't needed to beg for him to get a move on and fuck him silly. Still, the way he presented himself to the angel with shamelessly giving him a good view of his body made his cock twitch in need of getting a move on.

Not wanting to deny either of them the pleasure they so dearly needed, he pulled Crowley closer by his thighs and shoved his dick up into him with little resistance due to having been opened up so thoroughly before.

It felt good, beyond good even, beyond any pleasures heaven would have to offer for him, and they hadn't even started yet. The last time he had allowed himself to enjoy the pleasure of having someone for himself like this had been years ago.

Ever since he had accepted his feelings for Crowley he had denied it for himself, so now getting to experience that pleasure again, and with the one he had craved for some time, was heavenly.

With a howl Crowley threw his head back once he was entered and clung to the bedsheets for dear life. This was nothing compared to the fingers from before, and it was nothing compared to anything or anyone he had had in his whole life, and he had had a lot.

Not that he was bragging about it, but over the course of time he had tried quite some things, even things he didn't want to speak of anymore. But this, this was a whole new level of pleasure, of intimacy.

His mind was burnt out and he honestly didn't know if his moans and the aroused howls were silent or actually did leave his throat. He could feel Aziraphale stirring up his insides with every thrust, filling him up to an extent that it felt like the angel would soon stirr his brain the same way, if any of it was left anyway.

He got lost in the way the demon felt around him and kept his eyes shut to solely focus every part of his being to bask in the ecstasy that got so generously offered to him. The result of him not paying attention to anything else was that his thoughts spilled out in the form of praises and ramblings.

"Never will anyone get you, you belong to me and that is it. If anyone will ever attempt to take my place in your life, I will personally drag them to purgatory with no chance of leaving."

He got broken off by a groan and shoved his face into the demon's neck, breathing heavily against it.

"You feel so bloody good. And your voice- ngh! No wonder heaven had to let you go. They couldn't decide if that voice should be declared sinfully tempting, or could bring salvation and wash people clean of their sins. Too bad they will never know now."

Those praises felt so weird and so good at the same time, Crowley could feel his slight concentration on keeping the miracle up loosening and he felt precum pearling up at the tip of his dick, needing all his might to hold himself back, especially with his mind being as scrambled as it was.

But those praises had such a sharp edge to it, a kind of possessiveness that Crowley only knew Aziraphale had about the books he hoarded here. He never could have thought that this dominance had stretched over to him.

"I belong to you", he cried out with a hiss accompanying while he was fucked into the covers, the angel's breath tingly on his neck. "Yoursss- I am only yoursssss!"

"Better keep that in mind, dear boy, I wouldn't want to have anyone get hurt."

Aziraphale opened his eyes when he was talked to and smirked, if only for a second, at him a little unholy. For him he went against heaven and hell, and for him he'd go against humanity too, if necessary.

Using the thoughts of anyone getting too bold with what was his for his advantage, he let that possessiveness fuel him to put more strength behind each thrust and leave bite marks on his demon's shoulder, sprinkling some magic into the mix to reassure himself that those marks were to stay for longer than they naturally would.

By now Crowley didn't know what was more prominent; the pain or the pleasure. But even if he'd know what was more prominent, he still wouldn't be able to discern what was the greatest source for it. Maybe it was just everything together that made his mind shatter into a million pieces and melt down until he saw stars when his eyes rolled into the back of his head.

"A-angel I am-"

His voice broke off into another howl and he threw his hands up and over his eyes, pulling at his hair and clawing.

"Ssssorry I amngh- _ssssso sorry!_"

He couldn't keep the miracle up anymore, couldn't concentrate on anything as his vision blurred and his mind went blank. The demon only felt the tight knot in his stomach finally untangling and the pressure on his dick loosening as he came all over himself, sobbing in shame.

Aziraphale ignored the fact that Crowley got tipped over the edge and got reduced down to sobbing and shivering mess. He hadn't been satisfied just yet. Though the pressure that increased around his dick felt nice, it had not been what he needed to get off as well yet, though it got him so much closer to it.

He pushed himself up so he could watch over the demon and stare him down, his hands leaving his thighs to wander upwards. Biting his lip, Aziraphale dug his nails into the bony hips to get a tight grip on him to pull him closer each time he slammed into him.

Even though he loved the excitement it brought him to be able to shift him around as he wanted, he felt his own orgasm approaching now, a little disappointed in himself to not being able to break him down more.

With no warning he pressed the demon against his body and filled him up with his cum, resting his forehead on his as he panted heavily.

The only reaction Crowley could give when he was filled up was quiet whimpering. He was gasping for air, his breaths getting stuck in his throat where he choked on them, feeling absolutely miserable and blissful at the same time.

His before perfectly in order wings were now messy again with being pressed over and over, and quite roughly at that, into the sheets, and he himself didn't look much better. He had bruises all around his neck and scratches on his thighs and cheeks, cum drying and feeling cold against his heated stomach while the cum inside him was only waiting to leak out once the angel would pull back.

He rambled on about being sorry with his cracking voice, a high pitched whisper muffled by the hands desperately clinging to his face. But really, the worst thing was not getting a reaction from his angel with all this. He didn't care if he would be humiliated and degraded, or soothed into nothingness by soft words, both seemed equally pleasing to him.

But no reaction at all than the silent use of his body made him freak out, so he shifted his hands just slightly so he could look at Aziraphale with a truly lost and apologetic expression.

This wasn't what he had wanted as a reaction from his lover. It wasn't the constant apologies, nor that he was leaving scratches all over his face, those could at least be miracled away, that he got most worried about though, but it was the almost completely hidden away look he got.

Loosening his grip on his hips as he pulled out of him, Aziraphale reached up to attempt on getting him to stop hiding away.

"There is no need for you to hide, my love. Yes, you failed to hold on until I told you to get off, but since you were so patient the whole time, I'll give you a pass, for now."

He left a trail of gentle kisses on the back of his hands and what he could reach of his face.

"You have been patient enough to be a little greedy, I understand that. Despite that, you still did your best, and I was quite pleased with it."

"But- I wasssn't good", Crowley sobbed out, his muscles slightly untensing now that Aziraphale showered him with gentleness again.

It stopped some of the alarm bells in his head that his angel was speaking again and praising him, this time without the sharp edge of the sexual annuendo.

"I messsssed it up-"

The demon pressed his palms against his eyes that you'd worry his eyeballs would pop out at the back of his skull, trembling under the gentle touches and pressing his legs together so he wouldn't take up as much space anymore. He had finally gotten what he had wanted all those damn years, and now he felt so insecure, so vulnerable.

It had never ended well for him to mess up. Several times it had nearly killed him, not only nearly discorporated him, but really, nearly made him lose his life. And he was so scared, now that his mind would clear again slightly. Still drowsy on the aftereffects of his ecstasy, but clear enough that his worries could come crashing back to him in a cold, sharp wave.

And the wave hit him hard and swayed him into a current of anxiety. Nothing very pleasant considering he was laying there defenseless and naked; nothing and nowhere to hide.

With a soft sigh the angel sat up and pulled him onto his lap. The demon must have been more insecure and terrified to fail than he would have let it show for the time they knew each other. Maybe exactly that had a factor in his behavior too. Maybe the reason he had never had anyone to share his thoughts with kept him to hold it all in to act the part.

Aziraphale spread out his wings to a full extent before folding them around the two to create a small space for them, shielding the demon from all the harm that could wait for him outside.

Crowley was shivering as if he was cold, his wings pressed close to his body, the other's wings right atop them. It was like a shell, or blanket, whatever synonym you wished to use. But together with the angel's warmth it gave him a secure feeling; like they were out of this world now in their own little place as their feathers mixed together and the angel spoke to him.

"Why do you feel like you have messed up so bad, even after I tell you that it was fine? There is no one here to judge your actions besides me, and I have nothing to judge about you. You are perfect and so willing to do everything that makes me happy, and you know what you did? You made me really, really happy today. The only thing that could make this moment perfect would be, if you wouldn't be so hard on yourself. I might love all of you, but the little part that angels and demons alike have helped you developing, has to go, if only for the time we spend together."

The demon didn't yet dare to push himself back into Aziraphale, only had his head hanging low, his messy hair all in his face. He wanted to say that he shouldn't hug him like this since he was dirty and he didn't want Aziraphale to get dirty too, but he decided against it since his angel was trying so hard to get through to him and soothe him.

"It'sss- It's sssstupid. I wanted you sssso bad all the while, and I wanted you to feel good, but I couldn't hold it and you had to sssstop for me and finish quickly and look out for me I-"

He shook his head frantically before he dared to look up at him through the thick strands of curly, fiery red hair.

"You could have done sssso much more if it hadn't been for me-", he ended the words bubbling out from within him with a deep swallow and glossy eyes.

"Crowley, dear."

Aziraphale brushed the strands of hair out of Crowley's face and tucked them behind his ear to give him a full view on him as he spoke.

"I did feel good, I still am. I wouldn't trade what we have just experienced for anything else. Sure, we could have dragged it out longer, but it's fine. Besides, it's not like we have to let it be a one time thing. Whenever you'd be up for more, I'd happily repeat it."

He ran the back of his finger over his cheek before dropping his hand on his shoulder, tracing the marks he had left.

"I wouldn‘t have exactly needed to, well, have sex with you for my own pleasure. Just seeing you in pleasure is enough for me to get off on. And while I do find enjoyment in the ways humans get intimate together, I get a greater thrill seeing what I can do to you to make you feel good."

Pressing his teeth together so he could stop the sobs from coming out, which only half worked, the demon reached out to grip onto the other, slipping one time before he kind of secured a grip on him. His eyes were big and round and looked like he was about to break into tears, the sharp yellow colour of them glistening in the dark. But he didn't look up at him for long before he slowly let himself fall onto the other, exhaling deeply as if to overcome something.

"Angel."

Stopping for a moment find the right words he took a deep breath to take in Aziraphale's unique scent, soothing himself with the lure it placed on him.

"Hug me and don't let me go tonight. I beg you. Even if I won't believe them I-"

Breaking off he curled up on himself a little, his words already again reduced to a mere whisper.

"Pleasssse tell me you love me, tell me that i'm not all that bad. Even if I won't believe it-"

Even for the angel that was surprising to hear. He had thought Crowley hated it whenever he made a remark about the smallest good deeds he had done. Well, the situation in which the demon was in didn't exactly scream that it was what he needed.

"Are you sure you want that? I won't do anything that would worsen the state you are in."

Letting Crowley press into him he made a small hand motion to clean him up and put him into comfortable clothes to take some of the feeling of vulnerability off of him.

"I can promise doing anything for you, as long as you are certain it won't backfire on you."

Letting out a content sigh once he felt the soft fabric of the clothes on him Crowley nodded slowly and shifted his hands around to throw them around the other's stomach, hugging him ever so weakly.

"I- I don't know how i'll feel about it but...I want to feel loved, angel- I don't want nightmaresss or feeling like a failure, but I won't believe it if I tell mysssself. I need you to tell me, I want you to tell me that I am yoursss, that you adore me- Even if you lie, I need to hear it from you..."

"I'm an angel, angels don't lie. Or, well, we shouldn't."

Aziraphale stopped his train of thoughts there to not get lost in rambling to himself.

In retrospect, it wasn't true. He had seen the others lying countless of times. He had done it himself too on multiple occasions, but that wasn't important. What was important now was to fulfill Crowley's simple request.

He pulled the demon on top of himself and got himself in a comfortable laying position that wouldn't result in him regretting it in the morning that he kept his wings out like that. Though, if it helped the demon, he could live with a little cramp.

Running his hand through his hair Aziraphale played with it a little as he watched over him.

"You are no failure. There never has been a time in which I could have seen you as such. Everyone that has ever made you feel like one has had their times too in which they failed over and over and couldn't recover from it. No one is a true failure; you have only told yourself that enough times that you have started believing it. If only you could see yourself as I see you."

The moment that Aziraphale layed down the demon curled up on top of the angel, his head resting on his chest where he listened to his heartbeat, matching his breathing pattern to his.

"I've always been told i'm a failure", he mumbled, eyes closed and concentrating to calm his heartbeat to sleep.

He liked sleeping, he really did. Had even kind of grown used to a regular sleep pattern which he didn't really like to break out of. He didn't need to sleep. He just liked it. Though he would often be woken up by nightmares, but that was beside the point.

"I've never been praised. Not for what I did. They only shoved sssome things onto me, like the spanish inquisition."

"That has to be changed. You have done so many wonderful things in your life that have gotten no recognition then, and that is unacceptable. Alone the things you have brought humanity are all praiseworthy and, I might not be all up to date with them, but I am pretty sure that you could walk up to a random person and ask them what they think of a thing you have made, and I am sure they'd say they like it. Well, besides the M25. That was truly something hell should have been proud of."

The angel watched him relaxing, a good indication that he wasn't in a state of mind anymore he had to worry about. If the demon was thinking about sleep that was welcome too. He himself did not care too much about it and rather spent the time humans used to sleep staying up to read through each and every book he owned, but when he had tried it on some occasions, it had always helped him to give his mind a short break, and that was what Crowley needed now anyways.

Aziraphale would simply keep laying there with him and keep him warm and protected until he'd wake up again.

With his last remark the angel could even tease out a short laugh from Crowley.

"I donn need 'nyones recognition. Only need you."

Too sleepy to move his mouth properly he just muttered his response. "Love you, anngel."

Shifting his head around a little he gave him a lazy kiss on his bare chest and dozed off at the praises and the fingers that treasured his hair and the alluring scent and voice of his angel, the warm feathers hugging him like a blanket.

"I love you too, my dear, don't you ever forget it."


End file.
